The Trip to Hawaii

Cliff Vinje has had a streak of bad luck lately……
He was just recently evicted from his penthouse on Alki when his landlord brought in a plumber to repair some things in the bathroom and found his birthday gift that some of his longshoremen friends gave him laying face up in a tub full of water. It was a life size and very authentic looking blow up doll named Babette. Cliff's landlord said he had 30 days for him and his friend to move out! ! ! !

Cliff recently went to Hawaii, and he and the people he went with rented little motor scooters to sightsee the island!! They had stopped at many "watering holes" throughout the day and by now, Cliff was driving his little "Moped" like he was Evil Knievel.

The group approached this big water puddle that covered the entire width of the street. Every one slowed down for their own safety, but not good ol’ Cliff. He was much smarter and a lot more skilled than everyone else! ! ! Cliff put the bike in full throttle and went around the puddle off onto the shoulder of the road. He was not aware of the giant mud bank; his little scooter buried itself to the handle bars. Cliff did a 360 over the bars. He landed face first in what was discovered to be "pig poop." He must have skidded and bounced through a hundred feet of that pig poop.

When Cliff's body finally came to rest, he had scrapes and cuts and pig manure all over. It was in his ears. His nose was plugged. His eyes were caked with it---he was totally covered! His friends helped him to a nearby gas station where they hosed him down. He was a mess, to say the least.

Last week, back in Seattle, Cliff and his lady friend and another couple decided to take a horse and buggy ride down along the Seattle waterfront. Well, three hours and about a half-dozen gin mills later, Cliff was riding on the horse and everyone else including the proprietor were riding in the buggy. Cliff was stopped by Seattle police for riding a horse while under the influence, speeding, reckless endangerment, driving on the sidewalk, and failure to yield the right of way!! We love ya Cliff, what next???